How to Set Boundaries and Reduce Anxiety During the Holidays, by Top Vancouver Counsellors
Written by: Gather & Ground Wellness - Vancouver Counselling Clinic
The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy and celebration. However, for many, it also brings increased demands, social obligations, and family interactions that can heighten feelings of stress and anxiety. Setting boundaries and practicing self-soothing techniques are essential tools to navigate this busy time with confidence and calm.
This guide explores common triggers for holiday-related anxiety and offers practical strategies to manage stress while maintaining emotional well-being.
Understanding Common Holiday Anxiety Triggers
Anxiety during the holidays can stem from a variety of sources. Recognizing these triggers is the first step toward managing them effectively.
Overwhelming Social Commitments
Attending multiple gatherings, reconnecting with distant relatives, or navigating large crowds at events can feel draining. For those who experience social anxiety, the pressure to engage in conversations or meet expectations can become particularly intense.Financial Pressures
Gift-giving, travel expenses, and hosting costs can create financial strain. The added burden of budgeting for holiday activities often heightens feelings of worry.Family Dynamics
Complex relationships with family members may resurface during holiday gatherings. Old conflicts, differing values, or unspoken expectations can lead to tension and discomfort.Perfectionism
Many feel the need to create the “perfect” holiday, whether through idealized decorations, meals, or events. This drive for perfection can lead to burnout and self-criticism.Disruption of Routine
Changes to daily schedules, such as traveling or taking time off work, can unsettle those who rely on structure for their mental health. Sleep, exercise, and self-care routines often fall by the wayside, exacerbating feelings of imbalance.
Setting Boundaries to Reduce Holiday Stress
Boundaries are essential for protecting emotional and mental well-being, especially during the holidays when expectations and obligations increase. Effective boundaries are clear, respectful, and rooted in personal values.
Limit Overcommitment
Saying yes to every invitation can quickly lead to exhaustion. Prioritize events and activities that align with personal goals and values. Declining with kindness sets a healthy precedent. For example:"Thank you for inviting me, but I already have plans to recharge that evening."
"I appreciate the invite, but I’m focusing on a quieter holiday this year."
Manage Financial Expectations
If financial pressures feel overwhelming, discuss alternate plans with loved ones. Suggest thoughtful but low-cost alternatives, such as homemade gifts or shared experiences. Setting a gift budget with family members can also help ease monetary stress.Prepare for Family Dynamics
Acknowledge the potential for tension in advance and decide on limits for emotional involvement. For instance:
- Plan a polite exit strategy for heated discussions: "Let’s save this conversation for another time so we can focus on enjoying the day."
- Spend time with family in smaller, manageable increments to avoid feeling overwhelmed.Maintain a Schedule That Works
Avoid overloading days with back-to-back events. Build downtime into the schedule for rest and reflection. Boundaries around time are just as important as those around activities.
Self-Soothing Techniques for Managing Holiday Anxiety
Even with careful planning, holiday stress can creep in. Practicing self-soothing techniques helps regain emotional equilibrium when tensions rise.
Deep Breathing Exercises
Slow, deep breathing reduces anxiety by calming the body’s stress response.Practice box breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and pause for four counts before repeating.
Grounding Techniques
When overwhelmed, grounding brings focus back to the present moment.Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
PMR involves tensing and relaxing muscle groups to release physical tension. Start with the feet and work upward, focusing on each area of the body.Use Calming Visualizations
Imagine a peaceful, safe place such as a forest, beach, or cozy home setting. Focus on the details of this scene to redirect attention from stressors.Create a Personal "Escape Plan"
Build short breaks into holiday events for emotional resets. For example:Step outside for a breath of fresh air.
Excuse yourself to a quiet room for a few moments of solitude.
Keep calming items on hand, like noise-canceling earbuds or a small journal for writing thoughts.
Anchor Yourself with Affirmations
Repeating soothing affirmations can help reduce anxiety. Examples include:"It’s okay to take this one moment at a time."
"I am allowed to set boundaries that protect my peace."
"I am doing my best, and that is enough."
Maintaining Routines for Stability
Preserving elements of daily structure amidst holiday activities creates a sense of normalcy and control. Prioritize sleep, regular meals, and light exercise to keep energy levels stable. Even small efforts, such as a 10-minute morning walk or a consistent bedtime, can significantly impact mood and stress.
When to Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, holiday anxiety may feel overwhelming despite best efforts to manage it. If anxiety begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, or enjoyment of the season, connecting with a professional counsellor can provide additional tools and perspective. Speaking with someone trained in anxiety management can help uncover deeper triggers and develop tailored strategies for long-term resilience.
Final Thoughts
The holidays are an opportunity for connection, reflection, and celebration. By setting clear boundaries and practicing self-soothing techniques, it’s possible to reduce holiday anxiety and approach the season with greater ease. With a little preparation and self-compassion, the holidays can become a time to honor personal needs while enjoying the shared moments that make the season special.
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