How to Cope with Grief and Loss During the Holiday Season: Counsellor Insights and Tools
Written by: Gather & Ground Wellness - Vancouver Counselling Clinic
The holiday season often brings expectations of joy, celebration, and togetherness. For those experiencing grief and loss, however, it can be an especially challenging time. Memories of loved ones, disrupted traditions, or the absence of someone significant can heighten feelings of loneliness, sadness, or anxiety. Navigating the holidays while coping with grief is not about eliminating pain but finding ways to honour emotions, create new meaning, and care for oneself during this difficult time.
1. Acknowledge and Honor Emotions
Grief is a natural response to loss, and the holiday season can amplify its presence. Rather than suppressing emotions, acknowledging them creates space for healing. Grief is not linear; it may ebb and flow, often triggered by specific dates, traditions, or memories.
Practical steps to honor emotions:
Allow space for feelings, whether sadness, anger, or even moments of joy.
Use a journal to explore thoughts and emotions privately.
Share feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or support group.
It’s okay to cry, reminisce, or even feel relief—grief is as individual as the person experiencing it.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
The holidays often come with societal pressure to engage in cheerful festivities. For those grieving, this can feel overwhelming or inauthentic. Adjusting expectations helps create a season that aligns with personal needs and capacities.
How to manage expectations:
Reevaluate traditions. Consider which ones feel meaningful to continue and which may be set aside this year.
Communicate openly with others about participation. Declining certain invitations or scaling back involvement is perfectly acceptable.
Focus on small, manageable activities rather than trying to recreate previous holidays.
Taking a less-is-more approach can help reduce stress and create a gentler holiday experience.
3. Find Ways to Remember and Celebrate Loved Ones
Honoring the memory of a loved one can bring comfort and a sense of connection during the holidays. Creating intentional rituals allows their presence to be felt in meaningful ways.
Ideas for honoring loved ones:
Light a candle in their memory during holiday gatherings.
Share stories or look through photographs that celebrate their life.
Create a new tradition, such as donating to a cause they cared about or preparing their favorite dish.
These acts of remembrance can bring a sense of closeness while acknowledging the reality of their absence.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Joy
Grief and joy can coexist. It’s natural to feel guilty about experiencing moments of happiness after a loss, but allowing joy doesn’t diminish the love or memory of the person who is gone.
Ways to embrace joy without guilt:
Participate in activities that bring comfort, like watching a favorite holiday movie or spending time in nature.
Allow space for laughter and connection with others, even if only for brief moments.
Remind yourself that finding joy is part of healing, not forgetting.
Permission to enjoy life is a form of self-compassion, not betrayal.
5. Lean on Support Networks
Grieving can feel isolating, but reaching out to friends, family, or a support group can provide comfort. Sharing grief doesn’t burden others—it invites connection and support.
How to seek support:
Be specific about what is needed, whether it’s a listening ear, help with errands, or simply presence during a difficult moment.
Consider joining a grief support group, either in person or online, to connect with others who understand the experience of loss.
If family gatherings feel overwhelming, ask for a close friend or relative to serve as an emotional anchor.
Support networks offer strength during moments when it feels hardest to cope alone.
6. Practice Self-Care
Grief takes an emotional and physical toll. Prioritizing self-care can help maintain energy and manage stress throughout the holiday season.
Effective self-care strategies:
Prioritize rest and ensure a consistent sleep schedule.
Engage in gentle movement, such as walking or yoga, to release tension.
Nourish the body with balanced meals and stay hydrated.
Take moments of quiet reflection or meditation to restore a sense of calm.
Self-care is not indulgent; it is essential for navigating the complex emotions of grief.
7. Create New Traditions
Holidays often center around traditions that may feel painful in the absence of a loved one. While continuing certain rituals can be comforting, creating new traditions allows for the development of a holiday experience that reflects the current reality.
Examples of new traditions:
Host a “friendsgiving” or intimate gathering with close friends who provide comfort.
Volunteer or engage in acts of kindness, which can create a sense of purpose and connection.
Dedicate time to personal reflection, such as writing a letter to a loved one or planting a tree in their memory.
New traditions can coexist with old ones, offering a way to move forward while honoring the past.
8. Know When to Seek Professional Help
While grief is a natural process, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. If it begins to interfere with daily life or feels unmanageable, seeking help from a grief counsellor or therapist can provide additional tools for coping.
Signs professional support might be needed:
Persistent feelings of hopelessness or despair.
Difficulty functioning in work, relationships, or daily responsibilities.
Intense emotions that feel uncontrollable or unrelenting.
Therapists specializing in grief can offer guidance tailored to individual needs, helping navigate this challenging season with greater clarity and support. Want personalized support? We welcome you to book a complementary consultation with one of our clinical counsellors. Support is one click away!
Managing the Season with Compassion
Coping with grief during the holiday season is deeply personal. There is no right or wrong way to navigate this time, and each individual’s journey is unique. By acknowledging emotions, setting realistic expectations, leaning on support networks, and practicing self-care, it’s possible to move through the season with both resilience and tenderness. Above all, be kind to yourself. Grief is a testament to love, and healing takes time. This holiday season, the greatest gift you can give yourself is patience and compassion as you navigate this profoundly human experience.
Phone: 604-418-8827
Email: hello@gatherandground.ca