Feeling stuck? Here Are Two Words to Focus On
Written by: Alycia Oliver MCP, RCC
When we feel stuck and stagnant I always share two words. Pivot and movement.
People often come to me struggling with some form of transition in their lives or feeling stuck in the mundane feeling of life. They may be ending a relationship, moving to a new country or city, or changing careers. They could be unhappy in their relationships or workplace, but feel frozen in their tracks.
We forget that we are in control of (most) of how we live our lives. If we feel stagnant, we need to pivot. Change our direction, even in the slightest sense, keeping us in motion and in touch with our possibilities. This could mean pivoting our thought process, our perspectives, or even our location. For example, instead of “I won’t get another job that pays this well”, think “Let’s see what other jobs are out there that pay well”.
Get moving. This does not need to mean in a physical sense, this could mean just one baby step towards a new reality. If you feel stuck, the first step you need to focus on is moving in the slightest way. Not sure whether to leave your job or not? Start searching for other job opportunities. Just researching and exploring the options shows your brain that there is another path. And guess what, there is always another path.
But, where things get tricky is when the things we want to change feel like our constants or our stables in life while the other areas in our life feel unstable.
It is quite common for our body to resist change, but if we feel like we are grasping at or relying on one or two constants it can feel even more challenging to make that change. Uprooting what we believe to be the pieces holding us in a place of consistency can be unsettling.
For example, I personally value creating a cozy and inviting home. While other areas have been unstable in the past, I know that my home is always mine and a place I can come to for safety. Moving has always given me huge anxiety. It makes sense, it’s hard to change that constant. But it’s important to realize the root of this anxiety and to not mistake these feelings for making the wrong choice.